The Catan Munchkin Wars

16 Apr

Last Saturday (the 5th) was International Tabletop Day, a movement spearheaded by the folks at Geek and Sundry to get people to play more table top/board games.

My friends apparently didn’t need an excuse, as without thinking about it we organised a dinner and games session on the Sunday. Then we retconned it so it was for Tabletop Day.

It was nice to see other people on my Facebook timeline playing games as well. I really want to give Cards Against Humanity a try sometime. It sounds…wrong. But in a good way.

First, I have decided to start a table! Because I am exciting like that.

Let me introduce the players:Me

Me! It’s pretty clear from this blog who I am, so I’ll just show you my nice image and move on.


likes a lot of things, including me and sci-fi/fantasy books and TV shows. She is convinced that dice hate her, and over our many years of friendship I’ve seen little to disprove this.



Orphen is Fairy’s husband. He likes gaming of all sorts, and is my regular Risk opponent as well as the person I am most likely to play video games with.



Fairlake is my biggest TV show geeksquee companion, and we have spent many a happy hour talking about TV shows such as Buffy, Firefly, and Doctor Who in high pitched voices.



Kjarl is Fairlake’s boyfriend and is very smart, which is annoying of him. He too likes many things, some of which are penguins, hence his penguin picture.

We kicked our evening off with a round of Munchkin, which is a card based roleplaying game that’s a parody of more traditional RPGs. You’re prowling through a dungeon, fighting wacky monsters and stealing their treasure. You want to be the first one to reach level 10, which usually involves a lot of being really unkind to your friends until somebody wins because everybody’s used up their helpful cards.

Our first game of Munchkin was weird, in that nothing very interesting happened. I made the foolish mistake of picking up a duck (never pick up a duck in a dungeon) and dropped two levels early on, which effectively took me out of the running. Fairy dramatically failed to draw a monster to fight most of the way through the game, apart from a Level 20 Plutonium Dragon that she had no chance against so tamed it and made it into her steed. This meant that she didn’t level up very much, but since she was riding a dragon she looked way cooler.

The final battle came down to Fairlake, Orphen and Kjarl, and when it came for Fairlake to fight a monster for the victory, nobody had a single helpful card to beat her. This was actually pretty handy because dinner was ready.

After a delicious vegetable curry made by Fairy, we played another game of Munchkin as we hadn’t fulfilled our backstabbing quotient for the evening. This one was more traditional and lasted longer, and while I didn’t do very well for myself, I was able to set two level 20 wandering monsters on Fairy and stop her from winning. I am the best best friend ever.

In Munchkin you have cards that you can use as armour and weapons to boost your basic fight score. In both games I had Bear Feet, which gave me +2 to combat, and any time I drew a curse card trying to take my footwear away I could point down and say ‘But I have bear feet!’ and keep them. This made me happy both times I got to say it. In the end Orphen took the second game.

Settlers of Catan

Settlers of Catan – I was red, Fairlake orange, Fairy green, Orphen brown, Kjarl blue

Next we went to play Settlers of Catan, and we rolled to see who would go first.

Fairlake rolled 4.
I rolled 4.
Orphen rolled 4.
Fairy rolled 4.
Kjarl rolled 4.
Fairlake rolled 4 again.
I rolled 4 again.

We all stared suspiciously at the die. Orphen rolled again, and it came up 5. We still eyed the die. Seven times in a row? Really?

It showed no sign of favouring 4 throughout the actual game, so we just hit some crazy odds.

In the game, Fairlake and Fairy got into The Battle of the Massive Winding Roads, as the longest road is worth 2 victory points. They got in everybody’s way, including each other’s. I did something mean to everybody at the start of the game (not sure what) which meant I got a plentiful supply of bad things for the rest of the game.

I built five settlements to secure my best yet score in Catan, and was very pleased with myself. People kept rolling 7, which means the robber moves and steals stuff. In the words of Wil Wheaton, the robber is a dick.

At the last moment, Fairy wrestled the title of Longest Road from Fairlake, and with it won the game. Even though there were dice involved. It could just be because she didn’t necessarily have to roll the dice herself to get things. Or maybe the dice felt sorry for her this time. Or maybe it was skill. Who knows?


I demonstrated my confusion with the world by calling Orphen both my fiance’s and my dog’s names during the course of the evening.

But the other day my Mum called me ‘Bella – No, William!’ which is her cat and my brother, so clearly it’s hereditary.

Currently reading

For the Win by Cory Doctorow

A Dance with Dragons I: Dreams and Dust by George R R Martin

Terrier by Tamora Pierce

The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett

Harry Potter y la Piedra Filosofal by J K Rowling

Animorphs: The Invasion by K A Applegate

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

Completed since 12/3/2014

Snuff by Terry Pratchett

Persuasion by Jane Austen

By the Pricking of My Thumbs by Agatha Christie


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